Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I will die if light touches me.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
