My first STD was from a foam party
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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