I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize