he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize