I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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