my mouth tastes like poor choices
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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