i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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