Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
