Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
