Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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