the new term for farting is butt boxing.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize