erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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