Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
what the fuck happened to the tacos
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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