No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
