You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
