is your mom at the bar?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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