You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
