if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
