i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
