drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
