Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
