He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you win again, gameday.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I believe in your delicious
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
