you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
