And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
