she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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