And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
