Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
