does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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