Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
