all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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