i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
