that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
