A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
