How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
