There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
smell my finger.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
