I will die if light touches me.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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