a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
