I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
