also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
