yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Randomize
