carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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