You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
