If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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