For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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