he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
