I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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