my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize