OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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