On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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