He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
