But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
