all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
