My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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