hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
