a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
