So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You made out with two different species that night
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
