i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
they need to just BURY HIM!
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize