I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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