I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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