I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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