I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
