haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Two words: nipple clamps
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