Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
