If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
